A couple of days ago, I observed a phenomenon that happens on the metro often—a dude trying to pick up a girl. I’ve experienced this a few times, and I personally think it is creepy for someone to try to pick me up in the metro. The metro can be creepy at times, so that’s automatically what I think of people that approach me there.
While commuting to work, I saw a dude with a big smile on his face. I noticed the wheels turning in his head as he sat next to an attractive young sister –I mean she was attractive to him of course. He said a few words to her, then he got those digits. I saw the glee and accomplishment on his face then immediately thought of the many men I burned on the metro that tried to get my phone number. Here’s a scenario that happened to me a few weeks ago:
I’m on the metro prepping for a lunch date with a colleague when the man sitting next to me said, “You are so beautiful.” Acting like I was vain so he’d think I was a gold digger and would leave me alone, I said, “I know,” and continued to read my notes. Then he said, can I get your number so I can talk to you. I told him that I had a boyfriend that I talked to often. That still didn’t faze him. He said he just wanted to be my friend. So, I got up and stood at the door to get off at the next stop, which was my stop—I didn’t look back at him or anything.
I know that’s kind of harsh, but after four years of horror stories of men trying to pick me up, I’ve developed a harsh demeanor towards these things. There was the time I tore up a man’s card in front of his face; the time I said I didn’t need any friends to one man; etc. etc. etc.
All of this to ask the question… Do you think it is okay to try to pick someone up at the metro? Would you try it? How would you respond to someone who tried to pick you up?
Disclaimer- I'm married.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think it's okay to get to know someone on the metro, especially if it's a long commute and both parties are interested in getting to know each other... as friends or something more. I meet cute guys on the metro once in a blue moon. If the convo starts off interesting then I'll entertain. Usually, once my wedding ring is spotted, the conversation ends short. :)
I think it's good to talk to someone in the metro. In fact, you're supposed to do it during your daily activities - which includes the metro. There's absolutely no getting around it, because the freaks come out at night - and they make you spend money on them in clubs. Everyday settings make it easier to weed out knuckleheads, make room for conversation, and usually mean that you're talking to someone who has a life. The woman doesn't have her guard up, as she would in a club.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I want to ask you a question: Why do women take that attitude?
I can see why you'd ignore the person if:
- it's a crowded, uncomfortable commute.
- you're using the metro to rush to the VRE or MARC trains.
- the person is an asshole who ignores any signs of discomfort, disinterest, or significant age differences.
- the person is obviously running a game on you.
I also know that every woman between the ages of 18 and 40 will be hit on by every Tom, Dick, and high school dropout. That gets tiring for the woman.
Still, there's a middle ground. If the person is trying to initiate contact in a civilized way without any pick-up lines, wouldn't you want to see what else was there? If you want to meet people, don't you actually have to make an effort to meet them?
Good comments. My response to Fred's question... I'd say number three and four are my main reasons. Also, I think that women go by experience. There are more instances where I experience an uncomfortable situation with a man that I don't know than a comfortable one. So, I usually ignore men that I don't know altogether. However, there was this one instance where I didn't, and I ended up meeting a great man out of it. I honestly think that's a rarity. And, because I have this great man in my life now, I've went back to my old ignoring habits. My thinking is I have a great man at home and really don't need to give into someone that hitting on me. (Not that I would give in anyway.)
ReplyDeleteI have to clarify what I said about tearing up the business card. Some people (all men) have said I was acting hard core or rude. Let me tell you what happened in that story... I was sitting on the metro minding my business when this guy approached me and said I was beautiful. I said thank you. He said can I talk to you. I said I was busy and about to get off the train. He said he wanted to get to know me. I said I was not interested. He continued with his advances so I got up and walked to the other end of the train. He followed me and continued to talk. I said I was not interested. Just when I got off the train. He handed me his card and told me to call him. I repeated that I was not interested again and ripped the card up, then left and threw it in the trash. My intent was not to be hard core or rude. I was going through a lot of stuff that day, and he wasn't getting that I was not interested.
ReplyDelete